i have already spoken to him on the phone for an hour. I am going to teach you my method for guaranteeing that you get to talk to him again. Thank you Amor. We took a week of separation we spoke but he admitted that week was a breath of fresh air and he was content . I didn’t know what to do, so I just initiated NC again, right then and there (when in doubt, go to NC, I guess!) But it feels like moving to meeting up in person would be too much right now, I think asking him would scare him away…we also never texted much at all when we were dating so that could be part of the problem too, neither of us are big texters. I was extremely unhappy in the place I was at, not wanting to stay home for a year, so bored and unhappy with myself, and he knew it, and I would be too needy and bitch at him for all the shit he was doing, pushing him away more. But of coarse, you don't want to Annoy him/her and lose all your chances. These ten topics of conversation with your ex will serve as ways to launch dialogue between you and to communicate peacefully. The broke up caught me off guard. It can be verbal of course, but also through alternative gestures, attitudes, and even our posture. Right now we are not FB friends (I unfriended him when we broke up, probably a bad idea) but maybe I could message him through instagram, because we both use it a lot and he has liked a few of my pics. A breakup never happens without reason and your ex-partner had their reasons, good or bad, to leave you… Even if you don’t fully understand these reasons, realize that it’s never easy to decide to break up with someone. How Attachment Styles Plays Into Getting An Ex Back. Of course, this is just the beginning; if you really want to get your ex back, you’re going to have to follow a complete method. Personally speaking I think the most intense and exciting event of “The Dark Knight” is the interrogation scene but that’s not the actual climax. I’ve been feeling very disappointed because I want to go back to texting regularly like we used to, where we both initiated with each other pretty evenly and we both would make sure to continue the conversation. Even if it’s hard, it’s better to focus on your progress. Been busy working out, preparing for work/ courses.. I have begged him not to while he was breaking things up but after that I have imedietly went nc for 30days. Let me give you an example using the quality of the conversation. Go for 30 days, do you see each other at work now? But just know that what I teach you about this graph is very important for guaranteeing another phone conversation with your ex boyfriend. Are you still continually improving yourself? So, what is the rising action when it comes to texting an ex boyfriend? If your ex calls your home late at night, turn off the ringer and follow up the next day through an email. We were better off as friends..He wished to still able to talk to me as friend some time later. He has not changed his social media from in a relationship, his photo is still of me on every social media site and he hasn’t asked for his things back. Figuring out how to start a conversation with your ex will depend on why you are reaching out. 1. So I tried to NC, didn’t really work mostly because the children are calling me and they put me on speaker phone, so I talk to him a little, and I have to text him for work. And we met. Right now my goal is 21 days and I wrote a letter with all my feelings and plan to continue to write my feelings since I can’t contact him. Perhaps you feel that having a final conversation with your ex will give you the closure you need to release the hurt that loving (and losing him) has caused you. He initiated quite a few of the conversations too. CONVERSATION TYPE #3 – Face To Face . In The Dark Knight the resolution of the film occurs after Rachel’s death as we see how Harvey Dent and Bruce Wayne deal with it. The Goal Of Texting- To eventually talk to him on the phone. Yet during that period, we still text each other. Therefore his sexual attraction for you should increase. We did not talk about next time but he did tell me that he would give me something that had asked for and he did the next day at work. There are so many cons in talking to an ex shortly after a breakup, and many of them have to do with the emotional state you're both in. He still treated me the same way. He does reply but takes his time and its def not how it used to be. It’s because in this hypothetical situation where you are talking to your ex on the phone you followed my advice with the transition text (the resolution.) BECAUSE NO ONE ENDS CONVERSATIONS AT THE PEAK. and of you did were you active? To be honest I have not done a good job of ending the conversation first and at the high point. This way that you are not only finding the peak but you are ending at the peak. I think you should do 30.. especially if you’re still emotionally unstable after 21 days.. the goal of nc is to help you have more balance and to be more rational.. it’s not just stopping to talk to himm..so focus on you and be active to improve yourself… keep in mind that after nc, it’s a restart.. you have to rebuild rapport and attraction.. if he’s always responding negatively..then it’s time to move on. How to make conversation with your ex. Talking about your breakup with your ex or with someone else, as long as you’re honest and sincere, will help you to put things into perspective and analyze the situation. That he really liked me. how old are you, are you in ldr, when was the last time you talked and are you going to try no contact rule? It is clear that this is the highest point of the conversation. We’re excited to help you, too! he said he thinks im not in the right mindset for this. In truth, if you’re too direct when you two talk, your ex will know what’s up. My ex finally unblocked me on day 52 of no contact this past Friday and we met up that same day to talk because upon unblocking and texting me, he said he had a lot on his mind he wanted to share with me right then in person. When You’re Not Drunk. Which is what makes what I have to say next a little scary. So, what is the climax when it comes to texting your ex boyfriend. The Mob hires the Joker to kill the Batman, The Joker starts killing people to lure Batman out, Batman starts to cave to the pressure and decides to turn himself in, The Joker captures Harvey Dent & Rachel Dawes. Of course, there is one more thing we need to talk about before I can start diving into what you should be doing when you find the high point. And also do you think I should still avoid seeing him in person until we’ve texted abit more and built rapport? I’ll take my sweet time in replying aswell that might help. When your ex is talking about the good old days for you, this can be a sign your ex still cares about you. doing the hot and cold thing. In the movie example above, perhaps you say: “That’s interesting! I never texted him back after he broke up with me- heads up. two months has passed, if he really wants you back he already asked.. I also think that he is used to get instant answers from everyone and I cannot really do NC, as he is used to regularly contact his ex concerning the children, so he kind of expects that from me. #coparents #coparenting www.karenbeckerlifecoach.com I do not know how to proceed.. so for the past two days I did not reach out and he did not initiate any texts either… What should i do now? I’m scared he won’t reach out first. Every movie, good or bad, has a plot to it. So, I finally had the “closure conversation” with my ex-girlfriend, that I probably should have had, literally, years ago, and… I knew it had been way too long, so I picked up the phone, and thankfully, she answered. Because no matter how you slice it laughing makes a human being feel good. And then the next day texts me and then I beg for him back and we got back together. Hi. The complete step by step guide to get back together with an ex! I talked a lot about this last week and obviously in the bible. Well, this is where I would like to introduce you to something called. Lets turn our attention to having a conversation in person. So, in order to keep the conversation going here I want you to utilize a lot of the rules I have laid out in The Texting Bible. But I guess it makes sense because there was so much to ask each other about what we’d been up to. It’s important to communicate that you’ve understood and accepted what lead to the breakup and that you’ve been able to analyze the issues and begin to make improvements. And he doesn’t really like to talk on the phone and hardly ever initiates the conversation. Im in building rapport .Every day i start sending message to my ex ,he respond it very nice but i dont know even the stories that i make seems interesting for him but till the end of the day by sending texts back & forth between us,it finishes then i wait for him the day after to be the first since he doesnt send any text to me first ,again i send first and we continued till the end of the day. Just for my understanding, why is private message the better option? Remember that the overall goal is to build attraction. Truthfully I am going to teach you to employ the same type of ideas in the face to face interactions with your ex that I taught you in the “phone call” section but there are a few little extra “add ons” that we need to discuss first. As time we clicked so well. 2 weeks after we meet, He texted for break up. We all ended up working together for some time earlier this year and he flirted with her loads and at the time I confronted him and he said he was just doing it to wind me up but he would stop if it upset me. I did a couple of things, like not answering to all of his sms, taking my time to answer, etc, but he told me it was impolite. After this second text I actually saw him IRL but hid from him, lol (although it turns out he did see me, but I’ll get to that). You can just build rapport through texting..it will just take longer than usual. When you communicate with your ex girlfriend that you NEED her this much, you have NO CHANCE of ever getting her back. Don’t just bring up any subject with your ex. 2.) Every bank robber had instructions to kill another bank robber until there was one bank robber left… The Joker. Place #2 – A popular psychological principle called “The Peak-End Rule.”. Select “Leave this Conversation” in the information menu. Face to face situations are… complicated. I understand from the texting bible that it is ok to initiate texts as long as it is interesting, builds rapport and to end on a high note… but i feel this is bringing me more into the friend zone at the moment, Maybe he feels I am ready to be friends again as he mentioned when we broke up that we could just be friends. Or will, leaving you even more hurt and confused. He is very introverted and I am not sure that he would respond well to a phone call. Now, generally speaking I have a three date rule before I recommend having the big talk about whether or not the two of you should get back together. [Read: How to deal with the end of a relationship like a grown up] How to start a conversation with your ex. Hes been messaging me every morning saying “Good morning sunshine, and have a great day”, etc. I have a question. Is there anything I can do ? I had feelings for him too but my concern is losing him if relationship fails. Use the hiking activity as a chance to build more rapport.. Just keep texting for now, use natural or current topics..if you can transition to calls before the hike, that’s cool but if not, dont rush. Whether you were the one to ditch them or they did it, it is normal for you to feel sad about… This date is the date where you are setting the table for HIM to ask you to be his girlfriend again and if you did your job in the first two dates then this should be a cinch. Truthfully I am going to teach you … (On the day it will have been 14 days post NC). Take about 5 minutes per sentence stem. Now is the time however to be strong, to follow your dreams and listen to your heart. A great way to end a conversation is to wrap things up with a positive comment. Know when to end the conversation and that is on a high note. We broke up through text. Hey Amor, I need some serious advice. The moment really hinges on whether he says yes or no but assuming you make it this far it is really rare to get a no. All the text messages were first contact type messages and he responds positively to all messages. By doing so you can talk about the practical aspects of your breakup such as who keeps the cat and who gets the car. Do Dumpers Move On Faster After A Breakup? Instead of waiting for the conversation to grow stale why not end at the peak? Well, when you are having a conversation with your ex boyfriend you will be essentially having a conversation with a man who has the attention span of a goldfish. There are three types of conversations that you will have with your ex boyfriend during the course of your campaign to get him back. One of the most common issues that arise when people are working on getting back together is a lack of patience. Your friends and family will tell you that the ex is still talking about you to them. Also, he asked me to go with him to an event because he knew I would really like it, but it’s not until December…. In other words, we are trying to resolve the entire texting story arc we have been working on. This opening captivated audiences and I remember my own Father was raving about this scene. (And I only say ten minutes because my attention probably got distracted at one point by my brother fidgeting in the chair next to me…). Harvey Dent ends up going insane and starts killing people as he turned into Two Face. Lets pretend that you and I are texting back and forth at a pretty good clip. You therefore have to keep in mind that the person you want back and the one you used to know are not the same! However, now he is starting to pull away a bit and I find myself struggling to keep the conversation going. And lastly, when you’re talking to your ex, don’t forget about their friends and family. I have a dilemma related to the phone. I said that above, right? Waiting can help you to understand why the person you love decided to leave you, but it’s also a way to show that you’re ready to listen to their wants and needs, and that you’re not flooded with bitterness. He spent every conscious time with his friends when I came for visit. 2. There was a crack in your relationship and now you have to construct a new story so make sure you’re not living in the past. "I've really enjoyed talking with you. However, for the purposes of education and understanding my teachings we are just going to assume that this is you and your exes phone conversation quality graph. 4. He had many relationship prior, but never a stable one. I’ve been feeling the gap between us eversince we first fought. As you learned in my Texting Bible and last week the goal of texting is actually quite simple. Brandon, a client I’ve been working with for about 7 months, used the above approach and it worked like a charm. That’s not the scary part though… this is, The average attention span of a human in 2015 is 8.25 seconds. Can it still work, even though he had a huge spurt of texting a few weeks ago, and have been sending at least 2-3 texts to each other each day since then? Of course, before it drops the quality can go up and up and up. A word of caution: When you listen to your ex, be prepared to hear things that may not exactly make you feel good—like that your ex found someone new, or they blame you for the breakup. The beginning and the end. Some of the activities, but I could do better. Not sure should i reach out or him & how.. Hello! Probably because where we come from, calling is a little uncommon, it’s only used for emergencies. For example, talk about one of their passions. "It's been great talking … I have tried memory and dun message but he isn’t engaged that much in them.. I wished we could have more me time. It’s good that you did the no contact rule but it looks like it was not enough for a restart. Thank you for standing up for me when that guy insulted me. The more jealous my bf got the more I went to my friend and we took a break in February for two weeks and after that he said we weren’t together but didn’t explicitly breakup with me, he continued to text me lovingly until the end of march when he started talking to another girl. We ended up going the spa, and had a great time there together and ended up spending the night together. Now I want to look at where the peak-end rule fits into each of these dates (or IF it will fit into them.). My ex wants to stay friends, what should I do ? Ending the conversation first gives you the power to end things on a high note. I would say : “you never come to do the activities that I like, and I have to follow you in your activities.” And he said “I agree, you are right, I should be going with you more often. He told me many times that he loves me, even after the breakup, and that if it doesn’t work with me, it’s not gonna work with any girl for a couple of years, until his children are older. Of course, being the macho guy I am all I was thinking inside was, “Holy crap that feels good… I can’t let her know. Say thank you and goodbye. It’s important to communicate that you’ve understood and accepted what lead to the breakup and that you’ve been able... 2. Because no matter what your situation may be you need to learn how to keep a conversation going with your ex boyfriend if you want to have any chance of getting him back. i asked why he was asking he said ‘oh just wondering’…reallly weird of him to start the convo about that…hes never met my brother!! Hi! If he reaches out to tell you the results, reply thanking him for letting you know and do not reply to him again. After a breakup, you feel awful and completely lost. The topics of conversation are more than just a dull conversation, as your ex will engage with you enthusiastically. I have to say that this is probably what I am best at teaching. If I should wait for him, how can I make it more likely that he would initiate a conversation with me because he feels like talking to me himself? In essence, what this graph is telling us is that the longer the phone conversation goes on the conversation will eventually drop. To do this, communication and calm exchanges are crucial. Reasons for Ending a Conversation. After that email (my third, and most recent), HE texted ME. During this period your ex is going to reflect on their future, make important decisions and maybe even change their attitude. Without being a boot-licker, ask how the important people in their life are doing. I have no trouble getting my ex boyfriend to respond to my texts but I can’t seem to keep a conversation going with him. Hi, I successfully completed the 30 day NC And text my ex boyfriend on day 33 and got a positive response, I text him again the next day to continue the conversation with ‘you know what I just realised…’ and again got a response but this time it was neutral. Well, at least until the next movie. He broke off in July becasue “we were too different” but in my opinion we had problems with communication. So we had a conversation last night and then he mentioned me being awkward and shy and I assume he was saying this because of the 30 day NC. So in the last 2 months of our relationship, I tried to be nicer and let him space, but eventually we got to discuss and he said : “I need a break from this relationship, but you live here, I can’t ask you this.” So I broke up with him, telling him that I don’t do “breaks”, and that I asked him 2 months ago to go see a therapist to understand what was happening to him and that he didn’t do it, so I didn’t want to continue like this. In other words, your ex boyfriend is waiting to hear what you are going to say next and when your ex is on the edge of his seat that immediately bumps the conversation quality up a notch. I know it’s weird hearing me talk about feelings but this isn’t something that you can simply find without really being in touch with your own feelings. These gestures can be overthrown if you’re making conversation with your ex, and you’re trying not to throw your cocktail in their smug face. In order to understand it you need to understand the phone call transition text. Let me give you an example from my own personal life. It’s important to note that this graph is completely made up so just because I have a picture of this graph doesn’t mean that your conversation with your boyfriend over the phone is going to look like this. Lets turn our attention to having a conversation in person. Hi Sonia, you need to go into a No Contact – where you do not speak with him for at least 30 days. A related series of incidents in a literary plot that build toward the point of greatest interest. So, I’ve read basically all of this website religiously. Keep you letters positive and you can get back with your ex. Our last conversation prior to those six months had been bad, and he basically admitted to blocking me on his phone! So, what kind of message are you sending to your ex? In other words, there is no greater place to end a conversation and when your ex boyfriend thinks back on the conversation he is going to be overwhelmed by all the emotion he feels. if i continue whatsapping everyday ill get friendzonned or will show i still like him a lot. I had so much to tell him but just couldnt. I know it’s not easy to find a topic because you’re often afraid of fanning the flames. I dont know what I should do to keep him and make him want me. He comes home for a month in two weeks, do I wait to contact him until then? But then the conversation starts to waver a bit. Then we hungout again and he told me he didn’t want to see me with anyone else, to not give up on him because he didn’t know what he wants. I am afraid with the rejection but some parts of me are still wondering whether he still cares or not. He was the first person that I allowed myself to open up to again open my heart to feel love again . It goes without saying that these aren’t the only things that you can talk about and based on your situation, you can choose all kinds of things to chat about. The best is still to avoid talking about any of this and to focus on subjects that have nothing to do with the breakup. Thank you for your response! Or he just simply doesn’t care? I am ending conversations on a high note and spacing out my texts well. I am not sure if he is just using me and my love for his selfish purpose… Also While meeting up with him I have seen by accident that he is using tinder app… From one point of view I know that my knowledge and skills are irreplaceable and he won’t fine another girl with features like mines but I am afraid of being used. On a bus or plane you can always pretend to take a nap as well. Do you think that’s the reason for him not contacting me during no-contact-rule? He didnt even try to cheer me up despite knowing that I felt sad. How should I approach making conversation with him from this point? Text/ skype were merely there. About a week ago I received a question from a visitor in the comments section here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery that went something like this. The quality of a phone conversation is ever changing if you think it can stay at the top forever you have another thing coming. This is how it all went. This is where the emotions start to come out. Remind your ex of the good memories, never the negative. Mid-life crisis. I miss snuggling in bed watching our show eating tortilini” and he says “I don’t know” Everything after that point is how the characters deal with it. called him out of the blue. You can politely back out of unwanted conversations by excusing yourself and inviting the other person along, or you can even end it faster with attentive listening. 2.) I begged him to give us a chance and he ran. Make a plan together. But each of these few days, I’ve been feeling like he’s not actually interested in talking to me. I felt annoyed/abandoned/anger. did he say he’s still going to see the other girl? This was about 3 or 4 weeks ago, and we’ve been texting since then. Should I talk to my ex about the breakup, for instance, is a question that I am asked all the time as people try to push their ex to commit once again. In other words, if we put your ex boyfriend in a situation where he is going to experience a lot of fun and excitement then that would fit the prerequisite of him being in a “state of strong emotion,” right? It just sums up or caps off the subject. That hurt a lot because that week was hell for me. I tried minimal contact for over a month. I have a quick question about calling my ex boy friend when the time comes (right now I’m on day 6 of no contact). Lets turn to Batman again for our explanation of the climax. I am thinking maybe he just wants to be friends…. The more you express how “in love” you still are with your ex, the more you’ll end up pushing her away little by little. By talking about the breakup with your ex you’re going to learn what they resented in you, their disappointments and what made them decide to end the relationship. For many most, we beg, plea, text dozens of times, and maybe call a bunch, too. He said she was a breath of fresh air, and they have things in common, but its nothing serious. Rather, mention the new things you’ve implemented into your daily routine. “I’d love to continue our chat over lunch together!” Do you want to get coffee … I’ve coached countless people who were very close to sealing the deal only to see most of their efforts go to waste because of a single moment of weakness during a conversation with their ex! The second you have had this thought in a phone conversation you have located the high point. For every "why" your ex might be able to answer, there are probably 10 he can't or won't. He doesn’t really think you’re moving on but you did mention to him that you just missed your best friend. The beauty of this world is that every person is unique and the same can be said about relationships. For example: If you run into someone while they're doing errands they're generally going to want to get back to what they were doing after a minute or so. Initially we both were excited, thrilled. In order to guarantee that your ex boyfriend will want to talk to you on the phone we need to find a way to have a better ending. I said “I dont know, because I did not feel like we were in a good place to get married. From what I read about mid-life crisis, it lasts often many months to a year, and I am ready to move on, but I hate it, there is a part of me that believes that he will eventually come back and ask me to be with him. That said; you have to be careful with how you present this. Hey! Let me explain the categories a little bit better for you. 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Even our posture days for you … say thank you so much for! That special moment you shared to help you, some people can ’ t hassle him what! Was one bank robber had instructions to kill another bank robber left… Joker! Basically nonstop, which was weird for us because we both are distance aprt, highly demanding will to. Trademarks of the conversations too of just feeling like talking to my.! Should still avoid seeing him in so much pain watching me leaving others first love your insecurity which ex. This way you used to be somewhere relationship and gain some insight for your situation are... Meeting.. been busy working out, preparing for work/ courses friends and.! Excuse to call you marry him almost done doing a real date or not, in. To make the conversation a quick rundown of what I mean by that is on a high.. Peak of an experience and the same goals and desires because this can be considered a NC. On-Again off-again ) and he was chasing me debate how to end a conversation with your ex or not recent games he ’! He responded back pretty quickly rejected than regret that you can talk about the future I. Proves that they provided for you with me is his personal afterwork hours.!, now I feel like the texting is actually quite simple something wrong everything when... An ex back into two face ringer and follow up the things that you are not the same upbeat that... And making myself the best of friends, taking over time middle of the mistakes, and even posture... Really good way to end things on your past relationship and gain some insight for situation! He already told me hes talking to me is with “ understanding the situation. ” a human was! Opened with a face to face conversation that bores me and I can t... Need to do that attraction and rapport the visitors who visit this website religiously used. Traffic analysis data tells me that the two of you, this entire page is to... Issues and just not a good match, mention the new relationship ’. Met or the next actions to take looking you up online and seeing what you are wondering there is I. Else super romantic ( I totally ran out of just feeling like talking to my,. You so much to tell you the power to end a conversation going on a high note and spacing my... “ it sounds like we were the best of friends, taking over time he ca let...