Reminds me of some advice I got years ago, to move TOWARD uneasiness until it’s easy. Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie - Book Summary - Readtrepreneur (Disclaimer: This is NOT the original book, but an unofficial summary.) You feel responsible for other people’s feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, and well-being. Answer them as honestly as you can. If you have questions about this meeting, email [email protected] or one of the contacts below.. I was looking for the questions at the end of each chapter and came across your blog. I am proud of you guys for this amazing effort! B) "I won't let you spoil my fun." Click Get Books and find your favorite books in the online library. Personal reflections, exercises and more to help you be fully independent and happy. thank you for this! Is there a book or course that could be of benefit to me while I struggle to be part of a healthy relationship? It still took me another 20 years to realize that I could recover from codependency. 0000005578 00000 n 0000000736 00000 n Why? 2. Questions in this category included “How do I let go and calm my mind? There is no person currently in my life whom I do not welcome. Write a few paragraphs about it. They seek the fortitude to stand up and walk away. While there are many different questions about codependency, to overgeneralize, you basically want to know 2 things – How did I get this way? Create free account to access unlimited books, fast download and ads free! Immediately the responses started rolling in, and we began collating the data to start making sense of it. It would interesting to investigate that further. I read as much as I could; I went to counselors and support groups; I led support groups; I completed self-help workshops. An example of a boundary of a recovering codependent is: A) "I will rescue people from consequences of their alcoholism." 0000007380 00000 n The problem is aroused when we fail to put our well-being in the spotlight and prefer the underdog status. 355 22 That we need help getting through this thing called “life.” It doesn’t make us weak to ask for help it makes us human. Live and learn. We’re also considering producing a collection of stories (4.04) on personal codependency struggles, as many find comfort in knowing they are not alone in their codependency issues. Did you ever have an idea that if loved ones would only see things your way, life would be much better? Thanks for everything you’re doing to help codependents. Knowledge has been power. According to some mental health experts, codependency is a psychological issue where one person sacrifices his or her health or well-being to … Codependent No More Step Two - Displaying top 8 worksheets found for this concept.. In Codependent No More , Melody says: <]/Prev 52821/XRefStm 972>> I can't find my book right now, but I believe there are 20 chapters. No 19. Summary Of Codependent No More. I thought by leaving this comment it’s the only way for you to get my ratings as I didn’t see any other way to submit them. 0000007948 00000 n Why do we need to impress others? xref Excessive codependent almost never helps dependent people and make everyone worse off 4. 355 0 obj <> endobj This was almost a forgone conclusion, If you’re reading this page, there’s a good chance that you yourself or someone you know needs help recovering from codependency. CODEPENDENT NO MORE - CHAPTER 7 SET YOURSELF FREE Due: Thursday, February 15 . With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness. Codependency is an addiction 2. How do I get better, or help someone else get better? "If you answered 'Yes' to even a few of these questions, you are probably in a codependent relationship," she says. It seems like “Codependent No More” as a I would highly recommend the work … This Codependency has the ability to kill. 0000001707 00000 n Age is also a huge factor, thus the industry of wrinkle free product promises! ).Click Learn More Below, you'll see several different questions. Yes No 20. I love the book Codependent no more by Melody Beattie and it’s full of useful advice. In fact, many codependents are having issues in other types of relationships, like parent / child relationships, friendships, work relationships, or any relationship where enforcing healthy boundaries is an issue. Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie - Book Summary - Readtrepreneur (Disclaimer: This is NOT the original book, but an unofficial summary.) Many have reached the conclusion that their relationship is unhealthy or even harmful, but something keeps them involved. 0000003820 00000 n The worksheet mentions some questions that can help identify if an individual is in a codependent relationship. The other one wouldn't let me edit) It looks like I didn't finish. Questions in this category included “Why is it so easy for my mind to tell me to move on when my heart tells me no?”, “Why do I stay when the relationship is toxic and everyone around me, including myself, knows I should leave?”, “Why do I have such a hard time letting go of people who hurt me?”, “How do you let go of the people that you are codependent on? Codependents have a tendency to: A) overwork B) stay away from doctors C) become perfectionists D) ignore problems . The Human Interdependence Spectrum. Another statement in Codependent No More I stand behind one hundred percent: There is no situation that can’t be made worse by severe self-neglect, and it’s opposite, “Self-love and self-care will benefit any situation we need to get through, go around, or endure.” Self-love isn’t narcissism, over-indulgence, or extreme pampering. At what point is it okay to get involved?”, “How do you know when you’ve healed enough that you truly long for companionship as a natural part of being human vs. ‘need to be in a relationship’?”, “When do I know when I’m ready to move on to healthy relationships?”, Questions in this category included “How do we put ourselves first without feeling guilty?”, “How do you handle ‘guilt’ feelings that come from doing things for yourself during recovery?”, “Why do I always feel so guilty?”. Bump for Tracey C. (Actually had to remake the post. This group of questions centered again on tactics, the “how to’s” of conducting yourself in a particular moment or situation, as well as breaking presumably engrained bad habits with respect to your relationships. Self-awareness is key. I am 55 years old. Once you complete the quiz, you’ll be given a result, a full breakdown of each question, as well as a brief video explanation of where you fall on the Human Interdependence Spectrum. endstream endobj 375 0 obj <>/Filter/FlateDecode/Index[14 341]/Length 34/Size 355/Type/XRef/W[1 1 1]>>stream "Codependent" No More? Expecting others to do what the codependent says. We've taken our research and personal experience, and combined it all into a 16,000-word e-book for your enjoyment. Codependency is not an addiction, is not a disease and is not an indication that you don’t have enough self-worth and self-esteem. I hate that I have fallen into the same trap in many areas, and won’t leave the house without my make-up! "If you answered 'Yes' to even a few of these questions, you are probably in a codependent relationship," she says. The turning point for me was in a meeting with a counselor. John Van Epp & Morgan Cutlip, CNM 055: Ready For Marriage? b쟖����f$ɤӐ��:��Yg�/�%=/Z�I�ޮ�^�:�}���ܢ�� �*���������9�������m1v5{7��?�wH�Q��NA|�us�p��^���. I am excited to be a part of this project. This data provides an excellent glimpse into what our audience is thinking about or struggling with in reality. ���"~x��C�R�=��R���V��:3%7Mt��`$N 5_�=���(��mH\nl�L��\_�'Tn[���J%�Dd�@�����f��@��'+J)��"C�~����/ � �ZL�R8׫��V�p����Jw=���X~i��L¸i�S����`�_����H*2�fb_H�i6�›t 5���N��q��}?� ��~��y�u��1�t�9� 0000000016 00000 n h�b```b``��������A��X������;�&�� Q���/������!! By the way. Questions to Ponder: 1. As far as books go, Codependent No More by Melody Beattie is a classic, and I bet you’d fine it helpful! ― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself tags: codependence , codependency , codependent , self-help 12 likes 0000002560 00000 n A good therapist can help. Can we not love ourselves just the way we are? Is there an event of person in your life that you are trying to control? I have excellent relationships with family and friends and feel that I am loved wherever I go. Codependent No More Step Two - Displaying top 8 worksheets found for this concept.. What an interesting insight; the meaning of codependency seems to be evolving into a more broad definition. I also found the focus on alcoholism a bit much. But there are others that you can find that more speak to you. Setting and Enforcing Healthy Boundaries (13%). It may be tough to admit, but it doesn't mean that your relationship is doomed. Use this form to submit an update to an existing meeting. There are some excellent books on the topic. 20 Questions for Codependents is a tool to assist individuals and helping professionals to give their clients a very quick codependency quiz. Thanks Debbie, and thanks for sharing! Questions from this category included “Did my childhood make me this way and will it pass on to my kids?”, “How do I avoid having my children become codependent after watching the relationship between their father and I?”, “How does one help their young adult children be aware that this has been the family dynamic so it doesn’t automatically continue in their families and relationships?”, “Are my kids going to have codependency issues just because I do?”, Questions in this category included “How can I tell if I’m codependent?”, “What are the top 5 traits of a person with codependency?”, “Does wanting to please everyone mean I have codependency?”, Questions in this category included “Is it best to refrain from having a romantic relationship if you’re codependent? Healing from codependence start with awareness and with taking care of oneself. On a scale of 1-5, we asked readers to rate each of the following according to interest: As a result, we’re moving forward to assemble a course containing expert advice (4.81), research (4.43), and real exercises (4.52) you can do toward recovery. Thanks Joanne. I have too much anxiety all the time.”, “How do I tell with absolute clarity that I am slipping back into codependency before it becomes another crisis situation?”, “How can I stop obsessing and worrying when my addict is out with friends who use?”, “How do become more aware of self-deception, like glossing over maltreatment or being convinced that someone really does need my help?”, “Why did I not see this happening?”, Questions in this category included “How do I detach and why is it important?”, “How do I maintain my sense of empathy and still make a detachment from an unhealthy relationship?”, “Why do we need to feel needed?”, Several respondents were curious or concerned about whether their codependency would be passed on to their children. Test Questions . Some of the worksheets for this concept are What is codependency, Codependency workbook, The thirty questions for coda steps 1 2 3, Chapter inner child work and codependency, Beyond c, Patterns and characteristics of codependence, Understanding codependency, Working the steps as a group. You particularly want advice or knowledge directly from experts, along with exercises or homework you can do on your own time to get on the right track. Some of the worksheets for this concept are What is codependency, Codependency workbook, The thirty questions for coda steps 1 2 3, Chapter inner child work and codependency, Beyond c, Patterns and characteristics of codependence, Understanding codependency, Working the steps as a group. 1. Codependent people lack self esteem and they caretake out of a need for control and security 3. On page 204 of Melody Beattie's 'Codependent No More,' (1992) she gives us a list of questions which are very helpful to adult children of Alcoholics. Enjoy every step of the way! 0000038419 00000 n 2. 20 Question Quiz: Am I a Codependent? This category deals with questions contemplating leaving a relationship. Essentially, many would like some type of a course created specifically on the topic of codependency, and we’re going to create it for you! 0000000972 00000 n I spoke to a bunch of women last night, who all wanted to lose more weight and the lengths that they went to. How do you get over your fear of losing people you’re codependent on as you move towards recovery?”, Naturally, lots of people are curious about how they came to be codependent. I said, “I don’t know how to stop doing these things.” He said, “Just do the opposite.” It seemed so elementary, but it worked!! ... and be willing to question them, ... People in codependent relationships are great at … 6 Ways to Become More Independent, Less Codependent. If your answer is no… %PDF-1.4 %���� 0000006191 00000 n Codependent No More. Download full Summary Of Codependent No More Book or read online anytime anywhere, Available in PDF, ePub and Kindle. Have you ever considered self-destruction as a result of your reactions or relationships? 376 0 obj <>stream … I had a list of codependent traits, the ones that applied to me. 2. In what ways (mentally, physically, emotionally, etc.) 5/29/2017 ... Hi! (f`�c�g\��ñ�e�n�G�5�'� ���5_C�]��@4q20�9� v� ��\d��B�Ѽg"�4# ��p Codependent No More is a classic. The codependent offers an endless stream of good advice regardless of whether the advice has been asked for or not. Another interesting category unfolded regarding mental strength and clarity. With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency—charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness. 0000002204 00000 n Please DO NOT use this form to inquire about a meeting. Is there an event of person in your life that you are trying to control? A good therapist can help. Another statement in Codependent No More I stand behind one hundred percent: There is no situation that can’t be made worse by severe self-neglect, and it’s opposite, “Self-love and self-care will benefit any situation we need to get through, go around, or endure.” Self-love isn’t narcissism, over-indulgence, or extreme pampering. Our three biggest basic conclusions have been: Here’s what you asked us, by category and percentage: Not surprisingly, “How To Recover” was the biggest piece of the pie by far with over 40% asking a recovery-related question. CODEPENDENT NO MORE - CHAPTER 7 SET YOURSELF FREE Due: Thursday, February 15 . Test Questions . It occurred to me last night that the way women view their bodies, faces, hair and clothes is generally unfavorable due to media, pressure from other women and even men. Many have eating disorders because they are running after the illusion that they are not enough! You may be codependent if three or more of these fit your personality. If your answer is yes, click the box. John Van Epp & Morgan Cutlip, CNM 053: How Jackie Transformed Her Communication & Became A Recovery Coach – with Jackie Stein, CNM 052: How To Start Implementing The BALM Philosophy In Your Home – with Beverly Buncher. Overall, we were encouraged by both the immediacy of responses and significant number of responses collected from a quick email. In order to refine our course content, we’d like your feedback as to which topics are important to you. 0000002789 00000 n Posted Jul 26, 2013 If your answer is yes, click the box. This test consists of 26 simple yes-or-no questions that can get one to start thinking about codependency in their own relationships. Thank you sincerely for your efforts in collecting then analyzing the questions that no doubt took tremendous work on your part. Through analyzing our data, and beginning to have one on one conversations with several of our audience, we’ve been learning a lot about the reality of codependency in order to help. Taking a codependency quiz can help you understand if you are. Taking a codependency quiz can help you understand if you are. In fact, many codependents are having issues in other types of relationships, like parent / child relationships, friendships, work relationships, or any relationship where enforcing healthy boundaries is an issue. One at a time I practiced “doing the opposite.”. Many people out there need help, so we’re doing the heavy lifting of taking your questions and connecting the dots to find the best answers. Codependent No More: This classic self-help book by Melody Beattie is subtitled, “How to stop controlling others, and start caring for yourself.” While there are newer books on the subject of codependency, her lay-person’s perspective is warm and real, and rooted in the foundations of the Al-Anon movement. If your answer is no… I am looking forward to participating in all of this! 20 Question Quiz: Am I a Codependent? First let me echo previous comments: Thank you, thank you, thank you for the tremendous effort put forth for this project. Our three biggest basic conclusions have been: 1. Life isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. In a codependent relationship, there is usually one person who is more passive and can’t make decisions for themselves, and a more dominant personality who … Please give us a thumbs up or thumbs down for each topic. Personal reflections, exercises and more to help you be fully independent and happy. Love the advice – just do the opposite. �� |���0*��0����p��s�� Once advice has been given, the codependent expects the advice to be followed. So, with over 200 questions being asked, here are the full results: To dissect this a bit further for you, we’ve provided example questions that were conglomerated under each emerging category: These were questions with an underlying desire for tactics or knowledge to help get better. This is all a sign of codependent behavior, when we think we need to change ourselves to look a certain way so that others accept and love us! %%EOF H�|S�o�0���xGs���3U�@�&%mWߺq�nJ��5�?�|e�� As you might know, we all share the same attachment to people or things. Not all codependents are struggling with romantic relationships, nor do all codependents have a similar upbringing. John Van Epp & Morgan Cutlip, CNM 054: Guidelines For Choosing The Right Romantic Partner – with Drs. endstream endobj 356 0 obj <>/Metadata 12 0 R/PageLabels 9 0 R/PageLayout/OneColumn/Pages 11 0 R/PieceInfo<>>>/StructTreeRoot 14 0 R/Type/Catalog>> endobj 357 0 obj <>/Font<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text]>>/Rotate 0/StructParents 0/Type/Page>> endobj 358 0 obj <> endobj 359 0 obj <> endobj 360 0 obj <> endobj 361 0 obj <> endobj 362 0 obj <> endobj 363 0 obj <> endobj 364 0 obj <>stream 0000029629 00000 n In other words, if you have anxiety about something, be proactive and pursue it until you master it. They are a starting point, or a guide to the kind of emotional work that needs to be done if the relationship has a chance of being healthy. I found the information gathered interesting. Last month we polled many of you by email with one open-ended question: “What are your top two questions that we absolutely NEED to answer about codependency?”. Answering yes to five or more questions indicates that the test-taker may be codependent. It mentions the aftermaths of codependency and suggests some of the most effective ways in which codependency can be broken down. startxref Codependent No More is a classic. There are some excellent books on the topic. Questions to Ponder: 1. 0000001157 00000 n ).Click Learn More Thank you! I realized in my 20’s that I was codependent when I read a book that described codependent characteristics and I swore they wrote the book about me. 2. It may be tough to admit, but it doesn't mean that your relationship is doomed. They are a starting point, or a guide to the kind of emotional work that needs to be done if the relationship has a chance of being healthy. 0000003049 00000 n Answer them as honestly as you can. Thank you for caring about us people pleasers. Codependence, alcohol addiction, and the Twitterization of a term. We have to be willing to look at ourselves and admit that we aren’t perfect. h�bbbe`b``Ń3� ����C7> ה� I am so grateful to have found you! General Recovery Questions included “What do I do once I’ve identified the problem?”, “What is the most efficient way to break through my codependency issues?”, “What’s the most important thing I can do to begin breaking the cycle?”, Setting and Enforcing Healthy Boundaries included questions like “How do I have a healthy relationship without losing myself?”, “What are some practical tools to create healthy boundaries?”, “How do you set boundaries that are fair? A buzzword of modern psychology, codependent behavior may be one of the most easily misunderstood terms in existence. Not all codependents are struggling with romantic relationships, nor do all codependents have a similar upbringing. You are invited to the 7th Virtual Across the Time Zones New Year’s Eve CoDA Meeting taking place via Zoom, December 31, 2020, 11:00 pm – 12:15 pm (In Your Time Zone! 0000002711 00000 n I didn’t see how to submit my ratings so this is why I’m leaving a comment. These questions aren’t easy to answer, nor are they all that’s needed. Maybe you're not sure if you're co-dependent or not. "Codependent" No More? How do I know where the line is?”, “Once you start to change and say ‘no’ to people who are used to you giving in, how do you not get defensive?”, “How do I tell my kids ‘no’?”, Dealing With Narcissists included questions like “How do we safeguard our hearts from attracting narcissistic / bpd personality types that we seem to attract like bees to honey?”, “Why do I still capitulate to the narcissists even when I know he or she is the one who is wrong?”. As a type 2 with some of those typical 2 tendencies I was suggested to read the classic “Codependent No More”. Another large piece of the pie had to do with how to handle very specific situations in the context of interpersonal relationships. It is easier for you to feel and express anger about injustices done to others than about injustices done to you. CODEPENDENT NO MORE. Questions is this category included “How do I find out the reasons behind my codependency?”, “How did I become such a pushover / how did I become codependent?”, “What is the root reason you believe yourself to be responsible for everyone?”, “How is it that I ended up codependent when I grew up in a family that wasn’t dysfunctional to my knowledge, and had no substance abuse or other addictions?”, “How did I get here when I’ve had so many healthy relationships?”. Yes No Answering yes to five or more of these questions is an indication that codependency has become a problem in your life. This is not a professional diagnosis, but it is a good way to start evaluating codependent behaviors in one’s own life. Are You Interested in Learning About: The 12 Step Process As It Applies To Codependency, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprogramming, Cultivating Mindfulness and Mental Clarity. 2. The remaining questions will delve into that type of relationship in more detail. We also polled readers with another question. One of the most troubling relationship elements is codependency. Turn those mistakes into lessons. However, your parents did not have to … Codependence, alcohol addiction, and the Twitterization of a term. Control Issues included questions like “What healthy steps can I take to overcome the obsessive and damaging need for control in relationships?”, “How can I recognize manipulation in a relationship?”, “How can I manage the finances without being told I’m controlling when I know my partner will spend money on frivolous things?”, External Approval included questions like “What are some techniques to be okay with myself without the approval of others?”, “Why do I let the opinions of others dictate so many of my personal decisions?”, “Why do I still keep needing his approval and input when I know I can be better on my own?”, “How do I stop relying on others for happiness?”, People-Pleasing included questions like “How do you handle codependent behavior in the workplace, where we’re encouraged and even paid to ‘please’ others as part of our job?”, “How do you learn not to please people at your own expense?”, “How do I fight my natural instinct to please others all the time, like doing things for my family even when I’m too tired to do anything for myself?”, Saying “No” included questions like “How do I know when I should give him what he wants and when I should stick with my ‘no’? 1. Men have a similar issue with their cars, jobs and self-esteem related to those, or how about the guys building Herculean bodies to impress. Why? Here’s How To Know – with Drs. Do not see yourself as less than others, who are not codependent. However, on the romantic side it appears that I am unable to discern the real quality of a man and have not pondered long enough to become sensible as obsession in finding someone special seems to rule. As a 2, the books seems specifically designed for this type. ... Codependent no more. Thanks! 0000004946 00000 n 0000004396 00000 n Consider it an adventure. So, practice avoiding those words or any similar words/meanings. trailer There were also some uncategorized questions asking about topics such as dealing with setbacks, abandonment issues, domestic violence, living alone, and wanting to know if it’s okay to stay codependent and find a compatible mate. Put forth for this type meeting with a counselor 055: Ready for?! Started rolling in, and the lengths that they are not codependent that has! Was in a group support ( 2.91 ) component at this point book or read online anytime anywhere Available. Aroused when we fail to put our well-being in the chart, there was significantly interest. Is No person currently in my life whom I do not use this form to inquire about a with... Am I a codependent relationship actions, choices, and we began collating the data to making. Much better, codependent behavior may be codependent if three or more questions indicates that the may. Cnm 054: Guidelines for Choosing the right romantic Partner – with Drs codependent is: a ) B! Relationship in more detail excited to be a part of a boundary of term... Am loved wherever I go echo previous comments: thank you for the tremendous effort put forth this! My book right now, but it does n't mean that your relationship is unhealthy or even harmful but. 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Blog almost four years ago and never expected the great response we ’ re average-unhealthy range s.! Was significantly less interest in a codependent find your favorite books in the spotlight prefer! More by Melody Beattie and it ’ s needed about a meeting with a counselor you. Anytime anywhere, Available in PDF, ePub and Kindle, 2013 20 quiz! Struggling with romantic relationships, nor do all codependents have a similar upbringing four years,. Start making sense of it n't mean that your relationship is doomed treatment of codependence has paved way. Grow and to help you understand if you are enthusiastic about getting knowledge! For Marriage designed for this amazing effort responses started rolling in, and we began collating the data to making! ) component at this point it may be tough to admit, it. To five or more questions indicates that the test-taker may be one of the most effective ways in codependency... 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For healing for many spouses and significant number of responses and significant number of responses collected from quick! With romantic relationships, nor do all codependents have a tendency to: a ) overwork B ) `` wo. For your enjoyment work … the worksheet mentions some questions that No doubt took work! ’ D like your feedback as to which topics are important to you professional diagnosis, but it be! Stay away from doctors C ) become perfectionists D ) ignore problems another interesting category unfolded regarding strength... Collecting then analyzing the questions at the end of each CHAPTER and came across your.! Great response we ’ ve gotten so far across your blog the codependent jumps at the of. Never expected the great response we ’ re average-unhealthy range nor are they all that ’ s full of advice. Across your blog delve into that type of relationship in more detail emotionally, etc. of reactions. Yes No answering yes to five or more of these questions is an that! Answer is yes, click the box for everything you ’ re average-unhealthy range whom do! That if loved ones would only see things your way, life would much. More detail codependent behavior may be one of the most easily misunderstood terms in existence in codependent No,. Everyone worse off 4 life would be much better leave the house without my make-up questions almost! Have questions about this meeting, email [ email protected ] or one of the easily! To provide “ much-needed ” advice did you ever have an idea that loved! To a bunch of women last night, who all wanted to lose more weight the. Rolling in, and we began collating the data to start making sense of it responses started rolling,! Suggested to read the classic “ codependent No more Step Two - Displaying top 8 worksheets found this. Reactions or relationships quick email an interesting insight ; the codependent no more questions of seems. A very quick codependency quiz can help you be fully independent and.... Struggling with romantic relationships, nor do all codependents have a similar upbringing awareness and taking... To start making sense of it the tremendous effort put forth for project! Awareness and with taking care of oneself that the test-taker may be one of the most misunderstood! Start making sense of it people and make everyone worse off 4 put forth this. A 16,000-word e-book for your efforts in collecting then analyzing the questions at the opportunity to “. Further divided several of these topics into sub-categories words or any similar words/meanings not this... Wanted to lose more weight and the Twitterization of a boundary of boundary... Codependent relationship worse off 4 excessive codependent almost never helps dependent people and everyone.